Posted in Anxiety, birthday, bullet journal, jolly june, life, Poems, Quarantine Files, uni, UofT

darkest days

even on my darkest

I still speak about you

with endearing terms

and spill my heart out

to anyone willing to listen

they say –

If he were the one

he would have ;

stayed

been present

consisten

they call you:

a wastebucket

a fuc boi

toxic

an ass

a cheat –

but I know

in my soul and with everyinch of my heart

the mistakes we were were pure and out of innocence

I need time to grow and bloosom

but I still have faith in

you & us

even when your actions and words tell me otherwise

I miss the old you – the real you

-XOXO chana

Posted in life, Quarantine Files

acknowledging my privilege

This was a post that I found on my Facebook timeline and this really resonated with me – so I wanted to share it on my blog as well. Acknowledging your privilege is sooo important especially with the systematic inequalities currently found in the education, health sector, and other notable institutions. If you can please post this on your blog- show young Black individuals that we are with them and that their voices are heard. I know what it’s like to feel like no one was there for you in times of hardship. Especially with the Sri Lankan civil war – no nations stood behind Tamil. Tamils, as people, were left to fend for themselves and this is what created the LTTE. During the war – nations deemed it as a terrorist group but in actuality it was one of the few militant groups that was created to fight for Tamil Eelam – independence and wishes to become a separate entity from the rest of Sri Lanka. Now, 11 years after the end of the civil war, Canada has recognized that LTTE was in fact NOT a terrorist group – instead it was a militant group fighting for the atrocities done by the President at the time and the Sri Lankan army (Singhalese individuals).

Hello! My name is Archana Baleswaran. I have privilege as a Tamil individual because I can do all of these things without thinking twice:

I can go birding (#ChristianCooper)
I can go jogging (#AmaudArbery)
I can relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemSean & #AtatianaJefferson)
I can ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell & #RenishaMcBride)
I can have a cellphone (#StephonClark)
I can leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards)
I can play loud music (#JordanDavis)
I can sell CDs (#AltonSterling)
I can sleep (#AiyanaJones)
I can walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown)
I can play cops and robbers (#TamirRice)
I can walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin)
I can hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell)
I can party on New Years (#OscarGrant)
I can get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland)
I can lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile)
I can break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones)
I can shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford)
I can have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher)
I can read a book in my own car (#KeithScott)
I can be a 10yr old walking with my grandfather (#CliffordGlover)
I can decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese)
I can ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans)
I can cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood)
I can take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo)
I can run (#WalterScott)
I can breathe (#EricGarner)
I can live (#FreddieGray)
I CAN BE ARRESTED WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING MURDERED (#GeorgeFloyd)

White privilege is real.

Take a minute to consider a Black person’s experience today.

Take another minute to consider the constant and legitimate fear of a Black person’s parents / families / communities / loved ones that their son, brother, sister, daughter, cousin, teacher, student, partner, mentor, mother, father or friend could be murdered any day, for any reason or non-reason, under the egregious auspices of “law enforcement,” while simply trying to live their life in the United States of America.

#BlackLivesMatter

-XOXO chana

Posted in Anxiety, birthday, jolly june, life, Quarantine Files

Birth Month – Jolly June

Soo, to celebrate my birthday, I will be attempting to post every day in the month of june. I have already planned everything out and it will encompass a variety of posts – lifestyle, university, advice, question tags, behind the scenes – the series, digital portraits, taking the plunge into becoming a non profit organization and more.

I hope you enjoy this ! Hopefully I dont forget about this 🙂

– XOXO chana

Posted in Quarantine Files

what i’ve learned in quarantine

  • you don’t need to be productive all the time
  • take care of your mental health
  • spend time with your family – because you don’t know the next time you would have this much free time
  • organize and try to plan out your day
  • catch up with college or work emails
  • take some time out of your week to go outside – whether that be for a walk or even just a simple round of badminton
  • create – whether that be writing, painting, doodling, photography

What Have You Learned This Quarantine Season?

– XOXO chana

Find Me on my Socials

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Posted in Quarantine Files

things to do to keep occupied

  • watch Netflix
  • browse pinterest
  • watch productive youtuber’s
  • create – art, music, write
  • write in a journal
  • practice self care
  • gratitude log
  • try out a new recipe
  • find a new youtube channel
  • go out for a walk
  • take some pictures
  • spend time with family
  • facetime a friend
  • download a new game
  • play sudoko

what do you like to do during quarantine to keep occupied ?

-XOXO chana

Posted in life, Poems

racing thoughts

all these sleepless nights

are catching up to me

meanwhile

you walk away

scout free?

how is it

that you

moved on so fast –

you took any

chance

you got

to race off

with a piece

of my heart.

my hopes and dreams

were all crushed

by you

-XOXO chana

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Posted in life, reviews

february faves

hello , again 🙂 Today’s post is all about my favourites ranging from lifestyle products, technology and books. So grab a cup of tea and read

Technology / Apps

  • Candy Crush Saga

I am fully addicted to this game – perfect for when I am stressed or anxious. Currently I am on level 1496 – so add me and send me lives !

  • Google Photos

It automatically syncs and backs up photos on your phone to your gmail account- allowing you to access all your photos at anytime. And helps you save space on your phone

  • The Pattern

A new social networking app that helps you better understand yourself and connect with others on a deeper level. Simply enter your birthday and time you were born to learn more about your self and those around you.

  • Libby and Overdrive

Service provided by the Public Library system in Ontario (TPL,MPL) which allows you to access ebooks through the library. Perfect for reading on the go

  • Google Tasks

Perfect for planning digitally and making todo lists on the go

YouTuber

Recently, my brother started a new venture and creates youtube videos. I love seeing my brother be passionate about something and his love for editing. Be sure to check him out ! Support the Bales family!

Podcasts

Hosted by a fellow Tamil women – discussing a wide array of topics from Tamil Eelam to Veganism

Hosted by a Tamil guy, who discusses the ins and outs of being a creator in Toronto and speaks about being human.

Scents

From Indigo / Chapters – such a sweet and subtle smell thats not too over powering.

Music

  • Lover by Taylor Swift
  • You by Ali Gatie
what having you guys been loving and enjoying ? 

-XOXO chana

FIND ME ON:

Posted in behind the scenes - the series, life

behind the scenes – the series pt.1 : joanna

introducing Joanna – a gal that entered by life this past year. she is truly an inspiration and a positive light in my life. heres to joanna 🙂

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Tell me a little about yourself?

      A: I’m a 25 year old trying to find herself while also trying to survive. I am a feminist. I am a political science graduate and a social service worker graduate. Currently working in finance hoping to find my place and something I love. I love advocating for women, especially those who are marginalized as well as women of colour and women’s rights. I have a food blog and a photography blog. I love food and love finding a story in pictures. I also love makeup and skincare !!

Growing up what did you aspire to be?

      A: growing up I didn’t know what I wanted to be till I got to highschool and I wanted to be a human rights lawyer or work in the UN !

What are you pursuing now? 

      A: currently working in the finance sector of a bank in the investment side of it.

What’s would you tell yourself if you could go back 10 years?

    A: Love yourself. Never let anyone’s opinions of you get to you. Do what YOU want without fear or judgment. Be happy. Smile more. Never let a man dictate your worth. Take your time – theres no need to rush and SAVE YOUR MONEY.

How do you cope in the face of adversity or challenges 

A: Honestly this is something I need to work on – I tend to isolate myself and go quiet. However I started to get less mad and do breathing exercises. I allow myself to feel and process my feelings but I always tell myself I’ll be okay and everything will fall into place. Prayer and meditation !!! Praying helps me get through some difficult times.

Where do you see yourself in the future – career-wise and personally?

A:  Hopefully in a couple years meet the love of my life , have kids settle down , house , financially stable and have an established food blog !! Career wise I hope to be in my field and working with people who are marginalized but in politics hopefully.

What are your attitudes towards social media? 

A: Social media is great – through interacting online it connects us and allow us to bring attention to something and raise our voices. But it’s a powerful tool that some people don’t use right , like clout chasers and it can be used in bad ways to control people too.


FIND JOANNA ON:

i hope you enjoy this new series on my blog where you get to know people who have impacted by life for the better.

-XOXO chana

FIND ME ON:

Posted in life, Poems

meet me

meet me at midnight

at the spot we first held hands

6 months sober

from your intoxication

no need for AA

because I got my gyals


you’ve had plenty of time

to own up to your mistakes –

apologize for your actions

reconcile what we had

yet each night

your probably with your bois

doing stupid shit


meet me at midnight

one last time

— XOXO chana

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